Changing my mind, some more

I finally figured out a thing.

My co-worker, Nick, suggested that I treat myself to the piece of cake I have been longing for when I get down to the weight I wish to maintain. That kind of thinking is part of how I got in this shape and it has to change or I’ll be right back here in a couple of years.

I have been aware that there are 2 fallacies I need to give up.

First, food has to stop being a reward. Food is necessary and food is tasty. Enjoying the tasty part is OK. Eating too much, i.e. more than I actually need in order to function in a healthy way, is not.

Second, denying myself food I want leads to overeating that food when I finally allow me to have it again.

I allowed myself that cake Monday night. I simply calculated it into my daily calories. Yesterday, I had a cappuccino and a pecan bar, also calculated into my daily calories.

I can do this.

Today, I finally figured out how to reward myself in a healthy way.


When I lose 4 more pounds, I will be at the maximum weight my insurance company wants me to be. That day, I get a pedicure. Every time I get to a 5 or a 0 after that, I get to go again. When I get to my personal desired weight, I’m going to have a 60 minute massage. With an actual massage therapist not just the hydromassage bed at the gym or the chair thing on my sofa.

really love having someone else give me a pedicure. This is going to be an effective shift in my head space.


I got a FitBit, today

I’ve been using MapMyitness to keep up with exercise and calories. (My doctor suggested the calories part.) I have lost 10 pounds since I started going to the gym and tracking what I am doing and recording improvements has helped me. I don’t do the Challenges. I just compete with myself. That’s the only thing that has ever been effective for me.

LabCorp first offered us the stick. Increased rates if our BI was too high. Then, the carrot. Up to $300 refund on various fees and expenses of thing we have done (and already paid for) to get ourselves healthier.

They should pay me back for the 6 months of gym fees plus the new toy. And, if I keep up the weight loss, I should have no worries about my insurance cost next year. I was able to appeal and get a year of grace by talking to my doctor and getting her to fill out a form with a plan for my weight loss.

I knew it was needed. But, I allowed myself to keep thinking that “exercise is boring and I hate it” rather than considering it necessary PM for my body. I bitch about people not doing regular PM on the instruments in the lab. Took me a while to shift that attitude to my own self.

Watching my father die of heart disease helped me change my mind. He’s not gone, yet. It’s a slow, lingering death that I don’t wish on anyone. And I am going to do the preventive maintenance that will help me avoid it.


The FitBit. It’s supposed to help me keep up with my heart rate and works with the MapMyFitness app on my phone. Still trying to figure out how it all goes together.

When LabCorp refunds my money, it’s going in the rowing machine fund.

Chuck used to have one and had to sell it when he moved into a place that didn’t have room for it. He has missed it. I have a couple of friends who love rowing. One has one in her house. One has one at her gym. I have used the one at the workout room where parents live and like it.

We have room for it now, since he has closed his law practice. The room that was his office is becoming a grow room and pantry. A rowing machine should fit in next to his inversion table, no problem.

Back in the saddle, again.

I have joined a gym.  Again.

After a lifetime of thinking of myself as anti-exercise, I have come to the conclusion that is really unproductive and I am changing my mind.  I will be 55 next week and if I don’t want to be seriously decrepit in 20 years, I better get on with doing something to avoid it.

I know the joys of endorphins from training for a half marathon and walking enough to do a couple of 5Ks.  So, that hasn’t been the issue.

I just hate trying to do anything when the weather is nasty.  Over 80ºF or under 35ºF and I would stay inside thankyouverymuch.  And the weather hasn’t been particularly conducive.  There has also been the lure of yard work.  On the few days that have been nice enough to be outside, there has been weeding needed.  And that has been all the excuse I required to avoid committing exercise.

But, I am technically obese and unquestionably overweight.  And with a family history of heart disease and Type 2 diabetes, that’s just stupid.

A friend told me she was planning to join Planet Fitness when she got back from her vacation.  (I learned later that she had been a member in another town for a decade, but life had happened, including a marriage and a move, and she had lost the habit of going.)  I had the need for something in the back of my head and that lit the fuse.  There is a PF gym between my house and my work; the detour is less than a mile.

I joined last week. I am doing everything on the lowest weight so that I don’t hurt myself and punk out (again). I will increase gradually.

I have had training on the 30 minute workout room and the 12 minute abs room. I have done both unsupervised. I have used the treadmill, and the elliptical and cross country ski machines.

I feel the new muscle use in all my parts. The only place that is sore is stomach and ribs where I did more than was wise when I was learning those machines.

I like that they have a system that works all my major muscle groups and I don’t have to remember what to do. I don’t intend to do everything every day.

I warm up with one of the cardio gadgets then do one or both of those rooms, depending on the day of the week. I work 12 hours shifts on Saturday and Sunday, so I intend to do the Abs room and ski on Monday since that is the lightest day. On Wednesday, I will do both rooms after a cardio warmup. Probably, the same on Friday. I don’t have a favorite cardio gadget and that’s a good thing. I expect it’s to my benefit to use all of them so that my legs and arms get different uses.

The hydromassage bed is a blessing to my lower back and shoulders after a weekend toiling over a hot pipette, so that is getting use, too.

I love yoga

When I was 16, my mother suggested we take a yoga class together at the Y.  I loved it.  She didn’t.  When the 6 weeks was over, they didn’t offer more, so I was through for a very long time.

In 2009, a very good friend got colon cancer and she asked me, as part of her support crew, to take her to some of her yoga classes at Cornucopia House.  It was great for both of us.  Sometimes, all she was able to do was stay in savasana for the whole class.  Sometimes, she was able to do all the poses.  I loved the classes; loved being supportive of her;  I met some very nice people.

After she was through with her treatments and in remission, I didn’t feel like it was fair for me to continue to use the resources of Cornucopia House.  There are sick people who need them.

I tried finding classes other places.  The gym I was a member of changed the yoga class they offered to Pilates.  The Y didn’t have yoga when it was convenient for me to get there.  A yoga instructor at the yoga school near work nagged me to work harder on a pose that was difficult in a semi-Pilates class  and I never went back.

Finally, I got a perfect storm of good stuff.  I have changed shifts at work so that I can get to classes during the day on weekdays and I found Hillsborough Yoga and Healing Arts.  I got a 5 class pass to try them out and liked all the teachers I encountered.  And immediately felt better.  I had a muscle spasm going on in my lower back that made me think I was developing a kidney stone which was gone after the first class.

So, I got a 6 month all-you-can-eat pass and I’ve been going 2 or 3 times a week.  Aiming for 3, but sometimes life has made it 2.

My body feels so much better.  My heart feels so much better.  I don’t understand why I had let this drift out of my life.  I am so glad it’s back.