What I said to Johnny

I no longer believe in the God of the Bible. When I was little I believed with all my heart. And then I learned about the infinity of the universe, I couldn’t merge the “universal god of love who has His eye on the sparrow” with that vastness. I couldn’t accept “Jesus loves all the little children of the world” with the horrors that are happening in Africa and the Middle East and Thailand. So, I started reading. How can a loving god let that shit happen? Answer (for me): That isn’t God. The god of “the Book” is a little fantasy made up by frightened Bedouins trying to make the shadows in the night less terrifying.

What I believe in is Here and Now. Today, I love my son (etc.) and we make memories of joy or pain or whatever happens. Those times/feelings/experiences exist in the Singular moments of Time where they are created. And when I have passed beyond those moments in my awareness, they still exist even though I am no longer anchored to that point in the time line of the thing we designate “Reality”.

I am still sitting in my living room, reading poetry with my grandmother. Just not this Here. Not this Now. I am still holding my newborn son. I am still screaming in ecstasy. I am still weeping in despair. Screaming with frustration and/or rage. I am still flipping channels because nothing worth watching is on.

Those moments are always happening. Always true.

Time is a fantasy. Just like everything else.

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